I finished my 72-hour fast today. It’s always a nice moment when the clock ticked over and I had my first meal again. Today, I broke my fast with an avocado and a cup of bone broth. After an hour, I had some butter, eggs, and tuna. I finished with some coconut yoghurt, cocoa-coated almonds, and a spoonful of Manuka honey. This time, my fast broke fairly cleanly and I didn't have any issues. However, last time, I broke my fast, had way too much food, got stomach cramps, and ended up vomiting. It taught me a good lesson, and today I felt a lot more in control of the break.

The reason I do prolonged fasting and practice intermittent fasting is to give my body a break from processing food and to allow my blood cells to rejuvenate. I also do it because it takes me to a dark place at times and has challenged my mindset every time. It has definitely gotten easier each time, but there is still a great test of will to overcome each wave of hunger as my mind has tried to justify breaking and eating.

This time, as I was entering my last sleep before bed, I was hungry, tired, and it was my turn with the kids. I took them upstairs and gave them a shower. In the middle of the shower, as I was washing them, my daughter turned the shower head on me and drenched me from head to toe. My emotions ran wild, and I yelled at them in a rage. I quickly retracted, but it was too late. I had upset them. I was devastated, devastated that I had allowed my emotions to get the better of me, devastated that I had blown something, somewhat funny, out of proportion, and devastated I had upset two of the people I love the most.

Happiness, a lot of the time, is dependent on how we treat each other, especially within our inner circle, regardless of how they treat us back. It is within these moments of emotional stress, when we are tested with others, we must maintain that steady emotional state, and allow our consciousness to flow freely, without jeopardising important values and fundamentals around how we treat other. I was really disappointed in myself in that moment, but it’s a learning point for me, and an opportunity to grow and try and be a better version on myself. In that moment, and for a good while after, I was disappointed, in myself, in my actions, in my lack of steadiness within my train of thought, and unfortunately, unhappy. This is part of the journey and an important insight in my search for happiness.

Thank,

Dean