I've been doing some landscaping in my backyard over the last couple of days, and to be honest, it has tested my mind and my body. I'm just not used to hard physical labour. Although it has been difficult stepping out of my comfort zone, I have thoroughly enjoyed it. However, while I was shovelling rocks for the base into the wheelbarrow and moving them to a flooded area, it started to become painful.

About halfway through the pile, the NBN guys showed up to run NBN to our next-door neighbours. It infuriated me a little bit because last week, at our scheduled appointment, the technician didn't show up. After making multiple calls to NBN and my service provider, I got nowhere and my appointment got postponed for another month. I had taken half a day off work for the appointment, which was a massive inconvenience, not to mention the 6-week lead time to get to it.

I approached the guy and asked if they could also run ours, but I was met with an abrupt and rude "no." I took it on the chin and continued my work; however, my rocks ended up being over the NBN pit. Although I didn't want to help, I realized that I was only letting down my neighbours. So, I knew I had to move them. I quickly shovelled them out of the way, but during that brief moment, something felt off. I looked up, and all three of them were talking in a foreign language, laughing, and looking at me. I'm not completely sure, but I was pretty sure they were making fun of me, and it made me infuriated. I think the combination of fatigue, frustration with the work, the technician not showing up for our appointment, and then having to assist them after they were rude to me just set me off mentally. Although I don't promote violence of any kind, I firmly believe in maintaining composure at all times. I do enjoy violence as a sport and for exercise on a regular basis, but I don't believe in using it unless necessary.

My mind raced, and I could feel the rage building within me. I even evaluated the three of them and calculated my options. I was on the verge of exploding, and any small altercation could have been the trigger.

I think it's easy to fall into traps like this, where instinctual drive is met with illogical and incorrect trains of thought. In these moments, we find ourselves in universally testing positions that have the power to alter our paths. It's important to properly evaluate the situation and never make emotionally-driven, miscalculated actions. I didn’t engage with them. I'm not saying I felt happy after that moment, and for a good period of time afterward, I was in a precarious and somewhat misguided, aggressive, and irritable state.

However, as I sit here now and write this blog, I feel happy. I feel as if I have maintained good values and exercised emotional, spiritual, and mental control. I have succeeded in battling a moment of doubt in my mind, a moment of vulnerability due to external influence, and a combination of pushing factors. I have succeeded in my approach, and I feel a great sense of accomplishment in my own mind. And for that, I feel incredibly happy.

I inevitable that in life we will be met with challenging situations that test our mental, spiritual, and emotional capacity. Moments of questions, decisions, and calculations that have the potential to sway are rapidly. It is within these moments that we need to remain composed, and look past the emotional drive to see the illogical and most importantly universal truth.

"The hardest victory is over self." - Aristotle

Thanks,

Dean