A few months ago I was in Melbourne, my friends and I went out to dinner and then to Fitzroy for a few drinks. We were at a pub and I got speaking to a older man about life and purpose, after which he proceeded to tell me his story.

At around 15 years old he was abused by a priest from his local catholic church. He had grown up in a fairly religious family, and in his local community, at that time, the church was a central point of structure and essentially the informal governing body of the area. The priest took a liking to him and like many of these horrific stories, he slowly groomed the man, then boy, into a supportive figure of the church. Week after week his tasks become greater and he spent more and more time at the church with the priest. His family became prouder of him and the contribution their child was making to the community, and couldn’t believe that the priest had blessed their son with this privilege.

As the work became more consistent and more time was spent together, the priest slowly began to force himself on him, until it become part of the tasks he completed, and as it increased, he became more and more paralysed and traumatised to the point that he became silenced.

This went on for several years and left a deep irreversible, irreparable damage to the man. It took over 30 years for the priest to be prosecuted and was sentenced to prison in 2021. He was left traumatised, he has had relationship issues, and has had various drug and alcohol problems throughout his life. Still to this day it effects him, but through all of that struggle he said he has found solace in the fact that he survived and that the destruction of this member of the church, a member of one of the most trusted organisation in his community made him endure. He was still able to continue and move forward.

To be honest, I’ve pondered on this post for a long time. I wondered about how it influences the search for happiness and the role it plays in this blog. I think in this instance it’s difficult to find a generic contributing factor in the search for happiness. However, this man, who was tormented, stripped of his innocence, and punished through no fault of his own, was still able to find resolution within his own mind and create balance and happiness within his life. This is an example of unwavering mental strength and the ability to look forward and live.

The conversation I had with him was obviously quite confronting, difficult to hear, and difficult to accept that this is something that exists in world. Yet, the fact someone who has been subject to such destructive behaviour was still able to find resolve and achieve happiness was an example of the strength of our minds and how through our decisions within our own minds, and our ability to choose happiness over not, is the fundamental contributing factor in our search for happiness.

Thanks,

Dean